Rules of Engagement
Wedding Engagement Guidelines ...
The excitement, the romance, sparkles in your eyes (and on your ring), dreams of forever. STOP. Now what? Oh my goodness your thinking, invitations, flowers, colors, who to invite (who not to invite) and-so- and-so-forth. Let me take you down the road of the “typical” engagement process.
Timeline of your Engagement
There are no hard and fast rules of what the length of your engagement should be. I guess if you were to compare across the board what has been the “norm” down through the ages, six months to a year would be most accurate. Wedding trends, however, have certainly changed in recent years though. I’ve planned weddings for brides who had engagements as long as eighteen months and as short as four weeks! Being a wedding planner, I always prefer working with a timeline of six to twelve months. Pro’s and cons apply to both long and short term engagements. Planning a wedding on short notice will obviously make it more difficult (and stressful) but on the other hand, for example, you could possibly find great price for a venue space if they (resort etc.) hasn’t been able to book the date you want. Having a longer engagement will give you more time to plan (less stress), but prices (food, alcohol, venues etc.) also have the potential to rise over a longer period of time. Make sure you or your wedding planner reads all your contracts carefully. It is not uncommon for Resorts and the like to add an “inflation” clause into their contracts. This means they can jack up their prices their discretion in the name of inflation!
Aside from what you feel comfortable with, there are obvious variables that will play a significant role in determining your engagement time. Factors such: as climate (indoor or outdoor wedding), family availability (very important if planning destination wedding), and the season (costs are higher during the summer due to popularity) will all impact your date setting decision.
How to tell your Parents
Planning your wedding can be stressful in itself. Want to see it get more stressful? Tell your sibling, best friend, or the UPS guy that your getting married before you tell your mom and dad. Not a good way to start things off to say the least. If the groom to be hasn’t asked the brides’ father for her hand in marriage and/or the parents have no idea, best way to break the news is over dinner. Invite them over to your place versus meeting at a restaurant. Also keep in mind that it’s usually “etiquette” that the bride’s mother and father be informed before the grooms.
Hopefully your parents have already met your future significant other, if not, I strongly advise against introducing them for the first time and then telling hem your getting hitched! You may want to have a few get-together's before you let the parents in on your little secret. If you are suspecting that your parents will be disapproving of your marriage, best to tell your parents in private without your partner present. Spare them the grief and embarrassment!
Announcing your Engagement
There are a number of ways you can announce your engagement. The most common are publishing them in a local magazine or newspaper and of course the traditional of mailing printed announcements. Whatever way you decide to let the world know about you happy day, I recommend making sure you know the exact day of your wedding.
Publicizing your Announcement
You probably won’t see pictures of your marriage proposal plastered on the front of the tabloids in the grocery line (hopefully). But, if you do want to have it printed in a newspaper or magazine etc. that’s easy enough to do. Simply go online and find the websites to the newspaper(s) or magazine(s) and they should list the department and contact info. They will often list guidelines (content and pictures) and fees (if any).
Keeping em’ Posted
You’ve watched all the wedding shows, seen all the bridzillas, and laughed at all the emotional drama. Stop laughing, this could very well be the case when it comes to your friends and family! Hopefully it won’t, but as a wedding planner, I’ve seen it all! This “drama” is not in the least uncommon. You mix love, religion, cultural differences, in-laws, best friends, child hood best friends into the mix well you can have yourself one big soap opera.
So, prepare yourself for lots and lots of text messages, emails, and phone calls from your friends and family. They are going to want to know all the details (good or bad) and be assured they are going to give your “their” opinion on those details. You won’t be having a pod cast when you’re picking out flowers for the wedding (nor do you probably want to) so prepare yourself to be returning a whole lot of calls from your loved ones. Try not to let all of the chatter get you stressed out. Remember, it’s all with good intentions. In cases like these, I like to recommend creating a web page with postings on all your progress and up-to-date information such as times, hotel accommodations, directions and so on. All the potentially annoying inquiring minds can logon and get their fill at 3am! Best of all, you can make this your own personalize online announcement with all your favorite engagement pictures. There are ton of online wedding sites that will host your page for free or a small fee.
By: Michael Bassolino
